no rush.

Finding a internship/job in Haiti is not the easiest thing to do.

Today marks four weeks since my interview for the internship.

A few days ago, I received an e-mail from them saying they are interested in having me help with their after school program. Of course I said I am. So we will see what happens from here.

I also have a chance to apply for a position as a marketing director for a different organization in Haiti. I have a phone interview with them this week. 

And of course, there is the mission trip with my church in July... The sole reason I fell in love with Haiti 7 years ago. The thought of not going with them again kind of makes me sad. 

It feels great having these opportunities pop up but now I'm a little nervous because I want to make sure I pick the right one.

Sometimes, I wonder am I suppose to go so soon? Like this summer? Or after? Or in 6 months? Or a year or 5? These questions have been popping up in my head on the daily. I already have pretty bad anxiety as it is so thinking about all these questions has it high at times. I feel as if I am in a rush but I remind myself everything will fall in place when the time is right.

"In doubts of today, we trust in His tomorrows."

Looking back in my journal, I have been reminded what all the Lord has brought me through. Reminiscing on past struggles helps with trusting in His plans for me.

What calms me down and sets me back in a place of peace is knowing God will show me what step to take, when to take it and where. 

He has led me this far, He won't let me stray into the wrong direction now.

"You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what He has promised." - Hebrews 10:36

spring break.

Now here's a little fun and different blog post from the others.

I'm currently writing from good ole Panama City, Florida.

Yes.... That means I'm your typical college student that goes on a trip during spring break. This is my last year of college so why not live it up before I have to grow up.

I'm here with my four best friends and I wouldn't want to spend it with anyone else. To those who haven't been, I would highly recommend going with people you like. A) Ain't nobody wanna spend a week with people they aren't close to. B) Stuff will most likely get stolen. C) Staying with randos means they'll bring other randos.

Anyways, today didn't consist of much. Just spent most of the day driving, then went grocery shopping and now we're getting ready to hangout with some friends. I slept about 90% of the time so I can say I am fully rested for this week. So ready to be on the beach every day.

This will be an interesting week since we're from Oklahoma. Right when we pulled up to our place a group of guys came up asking where we are from. We told them and of course the first thing they brought up was the SAE stuff that went on at OU. My sorority even told us it might not be the best idea to wear our letter or anything that's Oklahoma related. Sad that racism is still a problem.

Crazy how the world is sometimes. But as for me just gotta smile, live every day to the fullest and treat people with kindness.

first move.

"To help me live in the now, I must trust in God for the then."

Yesterday I had my first interview over the phone for an internship this summer in Haiti.

The excitement and nervousness is overwhelming. Words can't explain how ecstatic I am.

For a some time I felt like nothing was happening.... I was at a point where I wasn't sure what move to make next. The waiting process is no fun (especially when you're a pretty impatient person.) I talked to my college pastor about it and he told me to keep pressing into God. Although nothing seems to be happening at the time, He is at work in my life.

Circumstances never change His promises. 

During this phase, every day, I need to:
Seek..
Trust...
Obey....
Praise..... 
Pursue......
And never lose hope in Him.

After a few weeks, something finally happened. I received a Facebook message about who to e-mail for an internship opportunity. So I did that and the next thing I know I had an interview over the phone a few days later.

I'll find out in about 3ish weeks if I got it or not.... These next few weeks will be. the. longest.

This organization I want to work with is the first one that caught my eye ever since I seriously decided I wanted to go and serve in Haiti. So it is truly a blessing they are considering me.

At this point, all I can do is pray and hope for the best. If it doesn't work out, I know God has something else planned for me. No point in worrying but to have peace and trust Him. God has got me this far, He will certainly not leave me now. He never has and never will. Which is so cool to me.

"Let God's faithfulness free you from the fear of the unknown."

I'm happy to say, my dream is slowly but surely becoming a reality.

distractions.

So this post kind of coincides with my last one about happiness. But I want to get deeper into the issue of distractions.

Sometimes we don't even realize when we are being distracted. I would know because I recently discovered I was starting to get distracted from one of my main goals.

I'm a dreamer.

This is bad and good. Sometimes I day dream about what I want in the future... New car, a guy I like, having more money, what I want to do in the summer, etc. Which all are okay. But I realized sometimes I get caught up in those things that I miss what is going on day by day.

There's so much I want to accomplish in life. But sometimes all those ideas of my wants get in the way that I don't take action on what's important at the moment.

So how can I make sure I am on track?

Just a little me time. Every. Day.

I read a daily devotional and pray at the beginning of my day.
Sometimes I will journal when I'm not so busy.
Talking to God and true friends.
Music helps tremendously.
Drives around the lake.
Going to church.

This is why I absolutely love being in Haiti. When I'm there, I find myself more and more each year. I don't have all the distractions I have here. So when I'm here in good ole America, I make sure to really spend time by myself and God. Those are the moments I'm reminded of what my priorities are.

"The world needs dreamers and the world needs doers. But above all else the world needs dreamers who do." - Sarah Ban Breathnach

happiness.

Haiti is the poorest country in the western hemisphere.

More then half of the population live below the poverty line. Only half of the Haitians can read and write. Knowing these two things, a person would expect to see sad people everywhere. You know, like those commercials on TV with depressing music playing and the children are just skin and bones. 

Well, I did see a lot of that....Too much to handle honestly.

But I also saw true joy.

What is that exactly? These people have nothing yet they are genuinely content with their lives. I've even talked to some Haitians who said they wouldn't want to live in America because there are too many distractions. Crazy, huh? 

"Happiness can never be found in the happenings of this world but in God."

Being truly happy shouldn't be based on materialistic things or another person. I know. So easy to say then actually living out. I like brands, food, shopping, etc... I've had my ups and downs with those that I care about hurting me.

But one thing I do (at some point), is allow myself to be sad for a certain period of time then I tell myself to stop. I talk to God and trust that His peace will give me comfort. And it always does, regardless if the problem is fixed or not.

There is no such thing as a perfect life. But in the hard times, it's important to remember that not every day is promised.

So on those bad days... It's okay to be sad, mad or whatever. Just don't let it last longer then it should. Sometimes it takes forcing ourselves to not think about it. Like staying busy, going to church, hanging out with family and friends, etc.

In my eyes, the people of Haiti are perfect examples of how to be thankful for what they have... And aren't dependent on their possessions or others around them.

No person or thing should have control over our happiness. It's so important to have true delight in life, no matter what is thrown in the way.

small steps.

"Not everyone wants to go to Haiti and help impoverished kids. If that's something you want to do, that is a God given gift."

Those two sentences are when I knew for a fact I was meant to go and stay in Haiti. 

I will never forget that day. It was a Wednesday night at my church. Prior, during praise and worship, I asked God to reveal to me whether staying in Haiti was something I needed to do.

This country has been on my heart ever since my first trip there. I always felt the need to go back and stay for a longer period of time.

Reality hit me when I realized it's my last semester of college....

Staying in America and working a normal 8am-5pm job, Monday through Friday is absolutely not what I want to do after I graduate. Some may say I'm crazy but I would much rather work all day and night if that means I get to do what I love. I'd endure the constant heat, ice cold showers, non-american food, oversized rodents/bugs, sweating while sleeping, swollen feet, etc.

So it's time to get serious about my dream. I wish I could say right now that I know exactly when I'm going to Haiti and for what... But I don't. That's okay though. I put full trust in God and will figure everything out. Until then, I'll keep researching different organizations and raising money.

"Sometimes the smallest step in the right direction ends up being the biggest step of your life."

My first step is to go Spring of 2015. This time, I want to go with a different organization called I'm ME. It's kind of last minute but I believe if this is meant to happen, it will.

If interested in helping me financially, here's the link to donate money and also find out more information about the organization I want to visit.

* click here to visit mission trip campaign. *

" Learn to be patient, so that you will please God and be given what He has promised."
- Hebrews 10:36

preface.

Where to start? Oh, I know.

A little about me. Currently I attend the University of Central Oklahoma as Strategic Communications major with a minor in Psychology. I love Jesus, food, dance, sleep and animals. I’m blessed with my very own hero and angel (my parents) and friends whom I consider family.

When I was 16 years old, I went on a mission trip to Haiti for the first time. I fell in love. I can’t stop going. Literally. I have been there every summer now for the past seven years and don’t plan on stopping anytime soon.

“If your dreams don’t scare you, they aren’t big enough.”

All my life I have been a dreamer. I knew my calling was to go back to Haiti and stay for a longer period of time. I graduate May of 2015. It’s time to make my dream a reality.

Here's the scary part. I don’t know when I’ll be leaving, what organization to work with, the length of time I’ll stay or how I will have the funds to go and stay there.

What takes away my fears of the unknown though?

Faith in God.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

- Jeremiah 29:11

My calling is to go to Haiti. That has been made clear. I know everything will fall into place. Things will be revealed when the time is right. I will just keep striving to follow God’s path. 

What an adventure it has been so far. I'm excited to write about this pretty cool journey.